There are many couples who are struggling today with trying to build a healthy marriage. Believe it or not there is a difference between a happy marriage and a healthy marriage. You can have two individuals happy at the current time but as their relationship isn’t healthy there is a danger for a marriage breakdown or failure in the long term.
I’m sure you are thinking “how could a happy marriage not be a healthy marriage”? Well, why don’t we explore the subject for a few minutes and you can make up your own mind if this is accurate. In fact, you might even be able to examine your union and decide if it is healthy or just happy.
The following is a quick snapshot of the union between Anthony and Samantha that we could put under the microscope.
Anthony and Samantha have been married for 6 years and have two beautiful children and a nice home in the suburbs. Anthony is a high achiever and he works long hours and provides a comfortable living for his family. They enjoy all the advantages of living the life of an upper middle class family which includes having disposable income and like-minded friends. On the weekends Anthony should unwind by playing 18 holes of golf and Samantha does quite a bit of hanging out and shopping with the girls.
Now, on the surface this sounds like the American dream and a happy marriage. However, there is just 1 problem. Anthony and Samantha are not a happily married couple. They’re happy as individuals but have very little time for one another. They are constructing separate lives and when the union doldrums hit they will be ill-prepared to manage them.
Does your union have any similarity to Anthony and Samantha’s? Are you in that awkward stage in your marriage where things make you happy and not spending quality time with your spouse?
Please bear in mind that the longer you go with not putting your relationship in the ideal order the more work you’ll have to do to restore it when it starts to fall apart.
Now, I don’t want you to misunderstand what I’m suggesting. You don’t have to give up your friends, golf, career or purchasing if that’s what you like to do. However, your spouse and your union should be on peak of the priority list. That is when you know that you’re working towards a healthy and happy marriage.
7 Signs Of A Healthy Marriage
1. You are able to talk about anything.
2. Trust isn’t a questionable trait in your connection.
3. Differences are embraced rather than a continuous form of contention.
4. Being around each other is a joy rather than a burden.
5. Mistakes are truly forgiven and grievances are not held onto for weeks or months or even years.
6. There is a mutual feeling your marriage comes before everything else.
7. Spending time together is important and excuses are not acceptable.
The above are only some minimum areas that tend to indicate that a relationship is healthy. Your marriage might seem complicated and difficult to keep moving in the right direction but often times it really isn’t. Marriage isn’t difficult but people are.
The fantastic news is that no marriage is perfect and all unions can use improvement. Please don’t ever make the incorrect assumption that your union is so broken that it can’t be repaired or to perfect to require improvement. You would be surprised to know precisely how readily an unhealthy marriage could be made healthy and vice-versa.
If your marriage isn’t as healthy as you’d like it to be now is the time to do something about it. Please don’t wait till you have more time to work on your marriage. Make the time and your relationship will continue to grow stronger.